This post is going to be a little different then normal, usually I would be trying to help with advice and help. This one is going to be what I am going through now.

I thought I had overcome some of my mental health issues a while back, it turns out I haven't. The past few weeks, I have been telling people to talk to each other and to help one another. When it's me who hasn't been speaking, I have spent so much time trying to be positive and help people that I have forgotten to help myself, I have been using it as an excuse. I have now finally spoken out to a couple of people about my Mental Health problems. The hard work of getting better starts today, I have been to the doctor's and I have restarted counselling. 

I wanted to write this because I don't show any emotion at all, I come across a happy and positive person when infact I use that to cover what's really going on. It goes to show that you never know what's going on behind closed doors, I wanted to write this also to encourage people to not hide there emotions and to speak out if you are struggling. You're not alone in this.  

I haven't written for a long time, but I want to thank people for all the lovely comments about all my previous post's on here. I have decided to talk about my up's and down's on twitter with Mental Health. 

I joined twitter in the summer of 2016, because I lost a couple of family members and friends to mental health through suicide. I wanted to come on twitter to try and get people to talk, hoping if it helped 1 person then it was worth it. When I first joined, I would see negative comments about Mental Health. People playing it down with comments such as "Man Up" and "Get over it". I always use to reply and have arguments with these people, which left me angry and down afterwards. After a while I decided not to bother with these idiot's and started blocking them, which gave me the confidence to talk more about it. 

I would urge all people experiencing the same problems as I did, to do the same thing with 1 negative comment there's always more positive comments. In the past 2 years, I have made some close friends on twitter who went through the same as I did. I wanted to say to these people, you will beat this and there is no shame admitting your struggling. If your feeling down and alone then talk to someone. A lot of people help people out which is great, but whose helping them? Please put yourself first from time to time.

As normal guy's if you want to talk my DM'S on twitter are always open @Jamie198629. I will also respond to comments on here. 

Thank you for all the comment's about my last 2 posts on bullying. Thank you to the 2 people who were brave enough to share there stories of being bullied. This blog is about a mate of mine's Mental Health, he wanted to share his story to hopefully help other people. It is written in his own word's. 

I have been a sufferer of both anxiety and depression, it can be one of the hardest things to do. It's not easy to talk about. In 2019 and as a man, it's not easy to tell people what is going on in our heads. Sometimes we don't know ourselves, men have the statistics of not wanting to seem like we're not weak or not as strong as everyone else!

I've had both anxiety and depression for over 7 years now, and in the last 3 years I have finally accepted it's me and it's what I have got. Nothing will change that feeling, I am still me, I am still Human just with a struggle on my shoulders!

Having anxiety and depression isn't always about being down, it's waking up and fighting our minds, our demons and fighting out body's. Feeling alone in a room full of people. Yeah I will admit I have cried myself to sleep so many times, and then meeting up with other people and putting that brave face on because that's what we do. My close friends and family will know. I've had this for 7 years now, how ever from slowly finding it hard to talk about at first to now being open about it because at first I didn't want to due to being scared to tell people incase they thought I was weak or making it up!

I am slowly getting myself back on track, and I will be me again. To anyone whose ever had my back on my hardest days.

I want to tell people that speaking out, it's best thing anyone could do is to open up and be you. The only person you can better yourself then is the person you was yesterday.

I want to thank this person for opening up, it's a very brave and strong they have done and hopefully will help alot of people. If you have any questions or need to someone to talk to my DM'S are always open @Jamie198629. Remember guy's it's ok to not be ok, please speak to someone if you're struggling!

Thank you to the person who shared there bullying story the other day, it was very brave. Well done. This is part 2 of 2 of my bullying part of the blog. Someone has been brave enough to share there story with me. I will not be mentioning there name in this post and it will be written in there own words. This post is all about online bullying. 

It started in the summer of 2018, I started to get confidence in myself as I was losing weight. I would post a picture of myself on social media, within minutes I would receive some horrible and hurtful private messages. I would get the Mickey taken out of me, I was called a fat cow and that I belonged on the beach because I look like a whale. People also would be horrible about my teeth if I smiled. I then received the most disgusting and vile private message on twitter, "I hope you get raped". I reported and blocked them straight away and there account was banned. I posted that tweet onto my twitter feed, as I was shocked and hurt as I have never hurt anyone. When I got this message I felt like deactivating my twitter account and leaving social media for good as I was on there for release from my life and not to be reminded of it. I decided to stay on social media because I made really good friends, and I didn't want to runaway and think they had got the better of me. 

It affects me today, nearly a year on from them comments. Every time I see a DM I get worried especially if I have just posted a picture of myself. I also check to see whose following now because of those comments.

I was quite disturbed reading this, especially with the comments. How can anyone be that sick or hurtful. I have noticed that when you see online bullying, the bully has no picture of themselves because there cowards. If you see someone being bullied online please report it straight away, The bullies do not deserve to be getting away with affecting peoples lives. If your being bullied yourself please speak out, get them reported and blocked and tell other people so they can do the same. If anyone has any questions or needs to talk send me a DM on twitter @Jamie198629 

This is the first part of my bullying blog, this story is not about me it's about a friend of mine. I will not be mentioning names and this story will be told in there words.

I was always bullied at school, I was even bullied by the teachers they would see me being isolated and picked on. They would often humiliate me in front of the bullies and made me feel like I was nothing. My school was big on sports, I was never interested and they would pick on me and call me a girl or say homophobic stuff to me. Teacher's heard it all but never said anything to the bullies. I tried to end my life few days after my birthday at the age of 14 because the bullying was getting to much. I thought the bullies would get punished for example suspension etc... so that they would learn there lesson and stop! Knowing this would never happen I decided to leave school at 14.

I am 32 now and all this still plays on my mind all the time, it affects me like I can't always do social activities even as an adult I feel Isolated and rejected. Bullying has left me insecure about myself and feeling not wanted. If someone wants to be around me it means alot to me. 

I wanted people to see this story of what happened to my mate, because 18 years later it still affects him almost daily. If your bullying someone, don't do it, it can scar people for life. How would you feel if you were the one being bullied or if someone you were close to was being bullied. If your being bullied please speak up about it, alot of people are going through the same as you. If you notice someone is being bullied, please help them. Thanks for reading, if you have any questions then leave me a comment on here or a DM on twitter @Jamie198629

I want to start by thanking people for there comment's, I appreciate every single one of them. I have decided to write about were it all started for me and the attack that led me down to the lowest point in my life. I will try and be as honest as I can but something's I don't remember because I was unconscious. 


I was attacked by what I thought was 3 people, apparently there was a forth but there no evidence linking him to what happened. After a night out with friend's I decided to leave early, on my way home I walked past 3 men with backpacks. They seemed ok, nothing that made me think that they were up to no good. About 10-15 seconds later I heard this running footsteps and before I had chance to turn round I was hit from behind, in the back of the head with a weapon. I went down and felt dizzy, then I was hit again and other that I was unconscious. I remember waking with couple of people helping me, I went to get up and I couldn't I was in so much pain. It felt like that I had woken up from a dream, until I tried getting up and it became a reality.

The after affects hit me hard, I had angriphobia. for people who don't know what that means, it's a fear of going out. I was angry, I was having breakdowns and I would make every excuse I could think of to not to leave my house. I suffered with this for well over a year, possibly 2 years. People tried to help me, but I would get angry and not admit there was something wrong. In the end I confided in one of my closest friends, who knew I wasn't right. In the end I spoke and I broke down during this time just before I spoke to my friend I had tried to end my life. That was the best decision I made was talking, the anger started to go and it felt like a weight had been lifted of my shoulders.

I wanted to talk about this even though it's the toughest time of my life, because if you talk to someone (anyone) you will get this feeling like a weight has been lifted. It takes a stronger person to admit there struggling. If you are reading this and have not spoken to anyone, please do. It's the best thing I ever did and now I am like a completely different person. If you see someone acting differently then normal, please talk to them and do your best to get them to talk. The chat with my friend saved my life.

As always if you want to ask me questions about this, or talk to me about anything then leave comments on here. My DM'S on twitter are always open, my twitter is @Jamie198629

Thank you to everyone for there support with previous posts on my blog, I appreciate it all! If this blog can just help one person, then this blog has been totally worth doing. My post today is all about anger.

When I was first attacked and my mental health started, in which I will be doing a post about in the near future. I became very angry, before the attack I was a laid back person. Even the smallest thing would make me angry, I would never hit anyone but at that time I was so tempted too, and decided to take it out on other things like door's and wall's etc... I was angry at what happened to me that I wanted to get revenge on them for what they did to me. I wanted them to feel the pain & anger that I was going through everyday. Every time I got angry it would scare my family & friends, I would never hurt them but at that time they thought I was unpredictable. When I saw they were scared of me that's when I thought enough was enough, and instead of getting angry and getting my revenge I went to the police and let them deal with it. I then decided to get help with my anger. I am back to being a laid back person, I do think back to that incident sometimes and feel angry but I am able to control those moments and manage them. 

I wanted to share this with you, because sometimes if your mental health has been caused by someone else, the best way to get your own back is to move on and get on with your life. If you keep everything bottled up like I did you become angry and you will never be able to move on. Please do not be ashamed to speak out, it takes a stronger person to admit there struggling. It's ok to not be ok. If you see someone struggling, please remember just a quick chat or a smile would make there day alot better also remember you are not alone. Please if anyone needs to talk, DM me on twitter even if it's just a random chat to try & take your mind of stuff. My twitter is @Jamie198629. Thank you for reading!!!!!