This will be the toughest thing that I have ever written, as it affects my family everyday but I feel speaking about this will help people understand the damage suicide leaves behind.

Last summer in July, my brother in law went missing which was very unlike him. When he left in the morning as normal, there was nothing different in his behaviour or anything. That night he never came home, people were calling and texting him with no response which again was very unlike him. The Police were called and they tracked his phone to local woods, there was no sign of him. 10 days-2 weeks later there were sightings of him but they wasn't him. 2 weeks later that dreaded call came through to say that he had taken his own life. My niece was only 5 at the time and didn't understand why he wasn't coming back, she understands a bit better now but we still have the heartbreak of her saying "I wish my Dad was able to see open my presents at Christmas" or "I wish my dad could pick me up school like everyone else's dad's do". we deal with it on a daily basis. 

I have never spoken about this but thought now was the right time to do it, we never knew something was going on with him, and kept it to himself and left a lot of people dealing with hurt and heartbreak everyday. It ends for one person, but for family family and friends it carrys on everyday and the pain will never go. 

Please if you are suffering from mental health, please tell someone like your family, friends or even the doctor. I never spoke up about for it months before someone noticed there was something wrong with me. I spoke up for the first about it with my friend and it's best thing I did, I felt like a load had been taken of my back just speaking to one person. It takes a stronger person to admit there struggling, be that person. It's ok to not be ok, so please speak up and get the help you need.