I haven't written a post on my blog in ages, I'm going to be writing about the last 2-3 weeks. Thank you to the people who have supported me in this blog so far.

I don't think I have had a tougher 2-3 weeks in a long time, It started with me losing someone close to me, I haven't really spoken about it and im not going to because I am not good with sympathy. I have never handled grief very well, I lash out at people I care about because I don't find it easy showing emotion and I can't cry. I have been working on that with my girlfriend who has showed me that it's ok to show emotion and I appreciate all the help she has given me. 

Also in the last few weeks, I have had to deal with people saying stuff about me to my Girlfriend which isn't true, through all this we remained stronger then ever. It just goes to show that people don't like to see others happy. There just morons with no life. 

Lastly I want to thank people on social media who have had my back the past 2-3 weeks, a lot of the time I have felt alone but with very good friends and a beautiful amazing girlfriend I have come through it and now I am feeling better then I have in a while. 

Thank you for reading

I haven't blogged for a while, with what's happened over the past week I felt I needed too. I am going to be speaking about the affects of suicide and the damage it leaves behind to family & friends.

Unfortunately this a topic I know to well, I have now lost 5 people close to me through suicide. 3 Family members and 2 Friends. The last person I lost last week left behind 2 young children, hearing them get upset and not understanding why there dad is not coming back is probably the most heartbreaking thing to witness. The affects it leaves behind never goes away, it ends for the person taking there own life but never for family & friends. As a family we question weather it's our fault because we didn't notice there is something wrong. When I first lost a family member through suicide, I was very close to them and even on my worse day's I wanted to take my own life so I could be with them again. I saw what it did to the family and I decided enough was enough and I needed help. 

To the people who say "get over it" or " Mental Health is a choice" try telling that to the family & friends who have lost people through Mental Health. I wanted to post this because I want people to know the damage it leaves behind. It takes a strong & brave person to admit there struggling. Please talk to someone It's ok to not be ok & your're not alone. Thank you for taking the time to read this!

First of all I want to thank people for there comments and support with the last post I did, it meant a lot. This post will be about how my life has changed for the better.

Last time I posted I was saying how my life had slightly improved, I now have a girlfriend who has turned my life around for the better. She has given me the confidence that being myself is good enough. When I started talking to her at the start I was really low, since then my life has improved everyday, I am in an amazing place at the moment and I couldn't be happier. I still have my bad days but with her support I know I will come through it. All I can say is that I love her and she has been my rock, and hopefully I can support her like she has supported me.

I have also made some good friends on twitter, who will be my friend's for life. They have had my back and have helped me alot through the bad days. I know they will have my back and I will always have there backs no matter what and they know that. 

I wanted to write about this because I wanted to show everyone, that even when your struggling something or someone could come into your life and change it for the better. Please if your struggling speak out about it, don't deal with it on your own. I spoke and now I am in an amazing place. It's ok to not be ok! 

Thank you to everyone who has supported me with this blog. I really do appreciate it all 

Last week was a tough week for me, It was the 1 year anniversary of my brother in law taking his own life. My niece was only 5 when he took his own life, this week has been all about me showing support to my sister and niece. I wanted to this blog and show everyone how important it is to speak out and to ask someone how there feeling. 

I decided to start this blog after he committed suicide, he never spoke to anyone. There was no difference is his behaviour, you never know what's going on behind closed doors. I think to myself all the time "why didn't he say anything, I could of helped". Ever since that day happened, I have been trying to my hardest to be there for people, to help them when there struggling. The damage it left to my niece was horrible, she would ask some upsetting questions "Does that mean, he won't be here to see me open my presents" and she started crying. It was most horrible thing I have ever had. 

Please if your struggling tell someone, there is help out there you don't have to deal with this alone. Get yourself to the doctors and get the help you need. It doesn't make you a weak person, it makes you a strong person and it's a brave thing to do. Lastly always check on close friends and family as you never know what is going on behind closed doors. It's ok to not be ok.

Thank you for reading, my twitter handle is @Jamie198629 if anyone needs to talk. 

This post is a follow up to my last post from last Tuesday, I will start by thanking everyone for there comments. As always I appreciate all of them.

Last time I wrote about how I wasn't being honest about my mental health, and that I needed help to get myself back on track. I have since then been back to the doctor, he has referred me to a counsellor and I am back on medication. At first I was a bit gutted to be going back on medication, as it took me so long to get of them. After a chat with close friends and family, if it helps me get back on track then it's not a negative thing. I am doing much better at the moment, since I spoke out to a couple of people. It was like a weight had been lifted, and that I didn't have to deal with all this alone I had good support around me. 

I am the most stubborn person when it comes to asking anyone for help, but I knew I had too. It doesn't make you less of a person telling someone that you need help. It takes a brave and strong person to admit there struggling. 

It's short post this time around, but you know you can message me on twitter any time @Jamie198629 

This post is going to be a little different then normal, usually I would be trying to help with advice and help. This one is going to be what I am going through now.

I thought I had overcome some of my mental health issues a while back, it turns out I haven't. The past few weeks, I have been telling people to talk to each other and to help one another. When it's me who hasn't been speaking, I have spent so much time trying to be positive and help people that I have forgotten to help myself, I have been using it as an excuse. I have now finally spoken out to a couple of people about my Mental Health problems. The hard work of getting better starts today, I have been to the doctor's and I have restarted counselling. 

I wanted to write this because I don't show any emotion at all, I come across a happy and positive person when infact I use that to cover what's really going on. It goes to show that you never know what's going on behind closed doors, I wanted to write this also to encourage people to not hide there emotions and to speak out if you are struggling. You're not alone in this.  

I haven't written for a long time, but I want to thank people for all the lovely comments about all my previous post's on here. I have decided to talk about my up's and down's on twitter with Mental Health. 

I joined twitter in the summer of 2016, because I lost a couple of family members and friends to mental health through suicide. I wanted to come on twitter to try and get people to talk, hoping if it helped 1 person then it was worth it. When I first joined, I would see negative comments about Mental Health. People playing it down with comments such as "Man Up" and "Get over it". I always use to reply and have arguments with these people, which left me angry and down afterwards. After a while I decided not to bother with these idiot's and started blocking them, which gave me the confidence to talk more about it. 

I would urge all people experiencing the same problems as I did, to do the same thing with 1 negative comment there's always more positive comments. In the past 2 years, I have made some close friends on twitter who went through the same as I did. I wanted to say to these people, you will beat this and there is no shame admitting your struggling. If your feeling down and alone then talk to someone. A lot of people help people out which is great, but whose helping them? Please put yourself first from time to time.

As normal guy's if you want to talk my DM'S on twitter are always open @Jamie198629. I will also respond to comments on here.