Tuesday, 17 October 2017

I have been deciding for the past couple of weeks weather to share this story with you but I have decided to write about it. In a previous post on my blog I have mentioned that I have had suicidal thoughts few years ago. The main reason I didn't go through with it was because few years prior to that, I lost my auntie who took her own life by jumping in front of a train due to mental health. She was a fun bubbly lady who was the life and soul but she was hiding what was really going on behind the front she was putting on. We are a very close family and after getting the news of her death the whole family was broken. 

The reason why I'm sharing this story is because I am hoping someone having suicidal thoughts will read this and will realise the damage it will cause to loved ones around them, and they can overcome this and go and see doctor and get help. Also you got your whole life in front of you. The pain may end for one person but never ends for loved ones. 

I have said in previous blogs, never be afraid to speak out get help from doctor who will refer you to counsellor which has changed my life. They do a fantastic job. If it wasn't for the counselling and the great family I have I wouldn't be here today and I am thankful for that. PLEASE SPEAK OUT! as you can beat this!!!

Monday, 16 October 2017

Few year's ago just before I was diagnosed with depression, I was in long term relationship. The depression basically ended that relationship, I refused to tell her that there was something wrong with me even though she could see it. A few weeks later the relationship had ended, I thought to myself if I had been honest with her about my problems would we have still been together? That was one of the reasons I went and got help from the doctor. I have always been honest with girlfriends at beginning of relationship since then.

My last relationship ended this march also due to my depression, towards the end I was experiencing the same behaviour that I was doing in the relationship I mentioned above. I refused to go back to doctors to seek help. Although my depression has improved and I am winning, I have learned to be honest and to go and seek help when needed. 

I would urge all of you suffering from Anxiety and Depression to be honest to your partners, even if you haven't been doctors and been told you have it. I have learned from these 2 relationships which I was happy in the majority of the time, to be honest and don't be afraid to say you need help. It could save your relationship.

Saturday, 7 October 2017

I have never experienced or been through Bullying but on request of other readers I have decided to write about this topic and it's something I feel strongly about. First question I ask is what makes a bully do what they do? is it to look big in front of there mates, Jealously, Getting a kick out of hurting someone, being unhappy with there own lives or all off them reasons? There was a story on TV the other week that really got to me, Young person was attacked by 4 bully's on there way home from school which was also recorded. They was talking about this incident and they wanted to go back to school but was to scared, and I thought to myself how is this fair when the bully's are still at school knowing they have got away with it. I know some people on social have mentioned there son/daughter has also been bullied with one of them telling me that they have been backwards and forwards to the school but nothing has done. I say ex-spell the bully's, why should they be able to go school and get an education when the person being bullied won't go into school and learn because there scared. It's not fair.

My friend told me that there daughter has been bullied on social media with disgusting and vile messages like "I hope you get Cancer"and she also suffered from eczema and was being called "crusty" My friend also told me that they suffered bullying in school and on social media, as she's had issues with her weight all her life people have sent messages calling her fat. What can be done with social media bully's and trolls? No good banning them as they will just make another account. So much bullying is going on at the moment, and people are encouraged to speak up about bullying. How can they? People are scared incase it gets worse and that nothing is done. 

Bullying ruin's lives and have seen on the news people have taken there own lives through it, It also affects people for the rest of there lives, who are insecure about the way the look. It can also lead to Anxiety, Depression and other mental health issues. Something need's to be done before more lives are ruined. 


Friday, 6 October 2017

After I suffered my attack which left me with agoraphobia, I left my job and was off for couple of years. I then had chance of doing an SIA course with a group of about 15 people, At first I didn't want to do it as I was terrified of meeting people and doing things in big groups. As one of friend's was doing it to, I decided to go for it as I knew someone. I finished the 2 week's course and past my test and got my SIA badge. It was only 1 month later I got my first security job. The night before my first day I didn't want to go I was constantly being sick and had a panic attack.

I worked for the security company for about 3 years, I was doing retail security. When we had a shoplifter I use to get really nervous, anxious and my hands would start shaking. I decided to stand with my hand's in my pocket to make it look like that I wasn't intimidated when I was. I am so glad I decided to do the SIA course as everyday I worked I would feel better about myself. The point I'm making is that even if you suffer from anxiety the more you do certain things the easier it becomes. I hope with this post I will inspire someone to try something they think the can't do, but remember don't over do it and take your time. You are not alone!!!!  

Thursday, 5 October 2017

In my early 20's I was badly attacked and from that attack I was left with severe Agoraphobia, It got so bad that the thought of going out was making me feel sick and having regular panic attacks. If I went out even if it was just around the corner I had to have someone come with me. I went to doctor's about this were I went to see a counsellor. I came up with the idea of writing down were my target was that I wanted to reach going out by myself. I took gradual steps each week and I would get a bit further were after 2 months I done it.  I would urge all people who have anxiety of going out to do the same, write down your target were you want to reach and take gradual steps. Take your time and don't let people push you, stick to the target sheet and do it your way and take as much time as you need. You will get there!

I do get anxious in being in crowded places for example in town on a busy day or party's, That unfortunately will always be there but I can now cope with these. I would suggest if you don't want to go on your own to certain busy situations, ask someone if they can come with you and explain how your feeling. You can also write down a target sheet for this. If you want your target to be going to town on a busy day, Start with going down your local shop on a busy day. Please don't over do it and do to much as I did this and went back to square one. Set up reasonable targets and don't be scared to talk to people about your anxiety. Remember guys you are not alone!

Wednesday, 4 October 2017

When I was first diagnosed with Anxiety and Depression by my doctor, they prescribed me with anti depressants. I got the medication from pharmacy and never took them for 3 months. I then 3 months later went back to doctor for a different reason and he brought up the medication and I had to be honest and say I haven't taken them. The next day I then took my first tablet and completed the first course a month later. I then had a review at doctor's they then put the dosage up, I went back another time after finally the dosage was right and they started to work. 

I have spoken to few people in past couple of days about there medication were they told they didn't take them because they didn't want to accept the help and another reason was because they wanted to try and deal with it without taking them. I would never tell someone what to do especially when it comes to Anxiety and Depression, but I urge people prescribed them to try and see if they help. They don't work overnight they can take 3-4 weeks to kick in, if the first course don't work go back and back again till the dosage is correct. I am so happy I swallowed my pride and took them as they really helped me. Remember guys you are not alone!

Tuesday, 3 October 2017

When I diagnosed with Anxiety and Depression I was worried about going to work incase of having a breakdown. I chose not to tell my boss at the time as I was worried I might get sacked. Eventually my boss had noticed a change in my moods and spoke to me privately. My boss has had previous experiences with Anxiety and Depression and he understood what I was going through. I do believe that all employers should go on a course about mental health problems as one of my friends was in same situation as me and his boss did not understand, and other people I have spoken to have had the same experiences as my friend. The best thing for me to do was leave and try and focus on getting better. 

If your working with Anxiety and Depression and work is making is making your Anxiety and Depression please speak to your boss about taking a break or leaving I no its tough in this world without work but your health comes first. Remember guy's you are not alone.